No, I do not intend to castigate or impugn the hallowed Teachings of Postmodernism, for they must be true. Indeed, postmodernism is a beautiful construct.

Rather, I and my friend, a linguist, have developed a method to formalize postmodernism, using traditional tools of logic. If this is not deserving of the Fields Medal, then there is clearly something the matter (i.e. the Fields Medal is a cisgender, patriarchal, and racist institution).

Our key insight is this: postmodern propositions can all be derived from a single axiom, thus making postmodernism more efficient than any logical system.

That axiom is as follows:

**THE AXIOM OF POSTMODERN LOGIC: ***∀ x, y, it must be the case that x=y, especially if x is not equal to y*.

Our definition of the logical operator, *especially,* is as follows:

**ESPECIALLY: ***A defining construct that calls attention to particular cases, based on social context and power relations. *

(Pause for applause)

While our system goes viral, we earnestly await our Fields Medal.

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